This is what I call my life verse. I believe God gives everyone who asks a scripture to hold onto through all the storms life has to throw at us. This precious one is mine. What is yours? For me, Proverbs 3:5-6 is my constant reminder to hope in God. He called me and saved me and is faithful to finish what He began in my life. My faith in Christ is the substance of what I hope for. It encourages me to remember that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

That co-worker. That ministry partner. That friend-of-a-friend. You already know who I’m talking about, and I didn’t even have to say anything. I’m talking about that person that grinds your gears before they even say a word to you. Let’s be real, fam. It’s impossible to get along with everyone, but sometimes, there are certain people that can get you sideways before anything even happens.

Most of us struggle with being compassionate towards people that rub us the wrong way. In a culture where everyone is so concerned about themselves, it’s hard to lead a life of putting others first. The secret is, if we can keep our eyes fixed on the One who loves us the most, loving others will become easier and easier, even those that we don’t see eye-to-eye with.

Comparison: it’s something I struggled with BIG TIME in the early days of my relationship with Christ and the beginning of my ministry. “I don’t worship like so-and-so. How could God be calling me to be a worship leader?” “I don’t have the experience in youth ministry that he has, so I won’t be as useful in reaching them.” “I’m not as bold as her, so I’ll just stay back and let her tell those people about Jesus. She’ll be better at it anyway”

“I just don’t know what to do,” a close family friend said over coffee one night. “My daughter is afraid to go to the mall, the movies, school. She’s afraid to live her life.” I remember those words being spoken years ago, after the school shooting at Sandy Hook. That was nearly six years ago, and in the time that’s passed, I can’t say with any kind of confidence that this world has gotten any better. Media tries to top itself with more outrageous headlines and sin-sick people try to outdo the last. It would take too long to list the heartbreak and the anguish. And because of that, lots of people– Christians included– walk in fear of what tomorrow night bring or whether they’ll become another statistic, another name on a list.

I think as Christians, we sometimes feel this constant pressure of having to be perfect. We set these unrealistic expectations for ourselves of having to always be joyful and thankful and thriving in our walks with the Lord, yet the reality is, it’s not always like that. We come to the point of fearing struggle and hate to admit when we are facing it.

Hey, Pops, Today, I lay no petitions, no requests, and no pleas at your feet. For just a moment, I only want to sit in awe of you. Constantly, you beckon me to come close to your heart; you give me permission to intimately know you, to dive deeper into who you are. And constantly, I am distracted by the desires of my own heart. How many times have I passed up the opportunity to just be with you by filling up the time and space with my selfishness and my “needs?” How many times have I missed the opportunity to get to know more of you, because I wanted you to hear more of me?

For as long as I could remember, I have always asked a million questions. I question everything and everyone. I want to know who, what, when, why, where and how at all times. It’s interesting, though; I find that with God all I ask is how and why. I never ask who he wants me to talk to. Where he wants me to go, or when he wants me to go there. When God puts me in a situation– especially one that I don’t want to be in– I pray, “Why Lord, and how are you going to get me out of this?”

Sometimes there are seasons of our lives full of growing pains, adjustments, suffering, and sadness. Unfortunately, that’s just how life is sometimes. There are days when we wonder what it's all for; what is the purpose of our suffering and our sadness? That’s when we need to look past our circumstance and see the greater purpose– to honor our father and be a walking testament of his love.

Over the past two weeks, we’ve been driving the point home that your personal trials are about so much more than just you. They are about maturing and equipping you to reach someone who will need the truth tempered in you through these spiritual growing pains. They are about showing the real substance of your faith so that someone can be encouraged by the genuine worship and nature of your love for the Lord. But this week, as we come to a close, I want to zero in on you. How does suffering improve your relationship with Jesus?

Have you ever had this happen to you? Someone comes to you for advice or for comfort for a really difficult situation they’re going through. You know in your mind that it’s a difficult spot to be in, but you don’t know what to say or what comfort to give, because you don’t know what it’s like to be there in your heart. You feel like you’ve let this person down, somehow, because you’ve never had to walk through that situation. It’s not that you don’t care or lack compassion, but you can’t relate, and so the only advice you have to give feels Christianese or half-hearted.

Earlier this week, while I was at school, I got the urge to look back on our old devotions from when we started Soul Deep. Without realizing it, I read one of the devotions that I wrote exactly a year ago from this week. It was called “The Power We Have in Unity” and I focused on the story of Joshua and the tumbling of the walls of Jericho. As I read my old devotional, I was so encouraged by it. It was almost like I couldn’t believe that I wrote it. After reading a few, God reminded me that we are still growing into new seasons, and as that happens, it’s important to appreciate where we once were and continue to grow from it.

Sure, James. Easier said than done. That’s always what I think when I hear the above verses. The fact of the matter is, no one wants to talk about suffering much less go through it. And let’s face it: it’s always going to be easy for people who have never walked through your same test to tell you to delight in the fact that you’re being tested. It’s always going to be our first, knee-jerk reaction to say, “Well, it’s easy for you to say, because you’re not living with this trainwreck of a situation.”

I have struggled with my strong personality that can at times be prickly like this pineapple. When I gave my life to the Lord, I knew I needed to change. Big changes happened in the beginning. Old habits just fell off– smoking, bad language, drinking in excess. Other things changed slowly; I developed new habits. I started to listen to different music. I started reading my Bible, praying more, attending small groups, making new friends, etc. Who I was– my personality– remained.

We are back in Romans this week and I’m so excited to keep examining what God is trying to speak to us through this series. In the past two devotionals I’ve done in Romans, we have focused on the hope we have in Jesus and the limitless grace we have received through our salvation.

“Cortney, I don’t know how I can keep doing this. I just feel like nothing is happening.”“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Mostly, it seems like God forgot about me.”“I don’t know where God is, but every time I try to sit with Him, He’s silent.” These are variations of things I’ve been hearing a lot lately from my friends and confidants. And maybe I’m a broken record, but I feel like I’ve been saying the same thing in response to it all: Sit still with Jesus. Don’t say anything. Don’t do anything but be with Him.