First, love: a love that can only be shared once it is experienced in its deepest form, by realizing the love God gave to us and allowing it to transform us from the inside out. Second, joy: a joy that wells up and overflows from the innermost parts of us and is not dependent on external happiness to be sparked or sustained, having the ability to remain joyful for others regardless of our personal issues. Today, peace. More specifically, inner peace– as the Amplified Bible so specifically points out. Are you noticing a trend? Because I am!

Truth time: Recently, I realized how numb I can become to the goodness of God. It was the week of Good Friday. My family and I watched “The Passion of the Christ.” Funny, how a confrontation with the cross can realign us and set us straight. As much as I hate to say this, as I became a teenager, I forgot the importance of that sacrifice. I felt as if it was just another story in a book. I never really thought about the whole meaning behind it or realized that if it weren’t for God’s sacrifice, I wouldn't have eternal life. I wouldn't be able to say that I don't have to punish myself because I’ve sinned over and over again.

I wrote those words in the middle of winter, while sitting at my desk in small-town Potsdam, New York. Three months later, as I re-read my old, unedited words, I sat back and thought about how much my life had been flipped upside down. Later that night, I had received an email, saying that I would have three days to get rid of all of my belongings, and move out of my college dorm to live with my parents on Long Island again. I was crushed, especially after writing such strong, comforting words earlier that morning.

I struggled over whether or not I would speak on this. Between the memes, the news, the hysteria, and the somehow innate feeling that all people have to comment on current events– as if it changes much of anything– I feel that what I have to say is of little to no consequence compared to the ocean of content concerning COVID-19. Nevertheless, I am hearing some things from my fellow Christians that just don’t sit right with me, and although I know my thoughts are just a drop in the bucket, I do have to stand against the strange and unbiblical ideas that I see with a simple scroll through any of my social media outlets.

You can be honest: Did you actually read today’s key verse, or did your eyes glaze over once you realized it was familiar? I know I do it. If I have a verse memorized, I don’t tend to read it when I recognize it. My mind automatically goes on airplane mode, thinking, “Oh, I know that. Let’s skip past this part.” Because my time is so valuable, I can’t even read a verse that I’ve become so obviously numb to, right? Because I’m so busy, I can’t reconnect with a precious scripture that is something I desperately need to hear, right?

Do you ever find yourself feeling like you are surrounded; like you feel like you need to be scared of everything? Life can be so overwhelming at times, it feels like it completely encompasses you day by day. We have all been there, and when you are feeling that way– when you are letting the world invade your thoughts and emotions– you are forgetting the who God made you. You are forgetting the platform that you stand on each day and how the Lord arms us with his love and strength.

“I just don’t know what to do,” a close family friend said over coffee one night. “My daughter is afraid to go to the mall, the movies, school. She’s afraid to live her life.” I remember those words being spoken years ago, after the school shooting at Sandy Hook. That was nearly six years ago, and in the time that’s passed, I can’t say with any kind of confidence that this world has gotten any better. Media tries to top itself with more outrageous headlines and sin-sick people try to outdo the last. It would take too long to list the heartbreak and the anguish. And because of that, lots of people– Christians included– walk in fear of what tomorrow night bring or whether they’ll become another statistic, another name on a list.

Growing up, I had very few worries. I was always that happy, go-lucky kid who just wanted to have fun and enjoy life with friends and family. My mom even told me of a time in a store parking lot, where I was walking and flailing my arms around without a care in the world. Before she could stop me, I went up to a random man and wished him a happy birthday. I had no idea if it was the man’s birthday, but that didn’t stop me. That was who I was.

Over the past week, I’ve been following a devotion through Isaiah 43, asking questions that both cause me to read between the lines and give me pause to listen to what God has to say about this beautiful love letter in scripture. And in this passage, God addresses one of the most common yet subjective, sneaky yet guttural emotions in the human experience: Fear.

If I were to make a ballpark estimation, I’d say I have somewhere around thirty pairs of shoes in my closet right now. I know, I know. Some might say that’s a lot, and yet, some of my fellow shoe-lovin’ ladies might say that’s an appropriate number. Some have a set purpose which means they can’t be used every day or all year round– slippers, snow boots, flip-flops. Others are multipurpose, and therefore see more wear-time– my basic, black pumps, my denim Toms, my combat boots. Still, others are for no other purpose than to have a little fun– multicolor cowboy boots, bright pink and metallic high heels, highlighter yellow sneakers.