Hey Pops, All this season, I’ve felt so captured by this picture: a dusty, low-lit stable. Horses, maybe some cattle, all huddled in their stalls, making the occasional barnyard chatter. Somewhere in the room, a torch is burning, lighting up a little area and casting long shadows across the dirt floor and the stable walls.

Hey, Pops, Today, I lay no petitions, no requests, and no pleas at your feet. For just a moment, I only want to sit in awe of you. Constantly, you beckon me to come close to your heart; you give me permission to intimately know you, to dive deeper into who you are. And constantly, I am distracted by the desires of my own heart. How many times have I passed up the opportunity to just be with you by filling up the time and space with my selfishness and my “needs?” How many times have I missed the opportunity to get to know more of you, because I wanted you to hear more of me?

Hey Pops, Lately, you’ve been teaching me a lot about patience, and it feels like I’ve been waiting on all fronts. A quick scroll through social media puts me under the microscope with false expectations of what my peers think I should have by now: a wild career in corporate America, a gleaming engagement ring on my finger, tons of stamps in my passport, or a trendy apartment somewhere. All things that read success and happiness to the uninvolved, near-sighted bystander, yet all are empty endeavors without the fullness of you behind it.

God, help me fully be a disciple of all that you are. Lead me to all the hurting people in my life, the ones with unseen hurt, and help me lavish your love upon them. I want to be someone known for the fearless pursuit of others and a boldness that completely glorifies your kingdom. It can be easy to comfort and minister to those I care for, Lord, but to minister to my enemies– those who oppose me– that’s a whole new battlefield.

Hey Pops, Thank you for being present in all seasons, even those seasons that my weak flesh struggles to seek and find you. Thank you for always beckoning me closer. Thank you for the distinct privilege of being called and claimed by you.

Hey Pops, Search me. And I mean really search me. Invade every cell and capillary, every thought-space and corner of my heart. If You should find unforgiveness in me, then bring it to my attention. Help me to war with it. Help me to lay it down.

My God, In this stagnant season in my life where it feels you are stripping me of everything I know, I will look to You as my only strength. As I am struggling to understand many things, I won’t lose faith in the fact that you are my number one supporter. You are the mediator between myself and my emotions and You comfort me in every battle, big and small. I look to You because my eyes don't even dare to wander anywhere else. Your beauty is too beautiful and vast for me; I am so overwhelmed. I am longing for Your presence and Your guidance. I am giving You all I have, longing for all that You are.