I was baptized somewhere in my early teens. If I had to guess, I was somewhere in between 12 and 14. If you ask my mom, she probably remembers for sure. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy brain, or that it happened so long ago, but there aren’t too many details I remember of that day. I remember I was baptized with two of my childhood church friends. I remember the water was warm. I remember that I didn’t want to say anything into the microphone to the congregation watching. When I emerged, my dad was on the other side of the baptismal with a towel and one of the biggest smiles on his face.

As Christians, we know not to sin. That’s pretty obvious, and for the most part, maybe it’s easy to refrain from those big ones: murder, theft, adultery, gossip, etc. But what about those sins that seem little and insignificant? What about a complaining attitude? Sure, complaining seems like a harmless thing to do. After all, isn’t it bad to keep our feelings bottled up? Isn’t it healthy to vent? How does a little complaining hurt? To that I say, it’s not so much about venting. It’s about the habits that constant complaining naturally leads to. In all truth, if we truly lean on God and trust Him to keep us and provide for us, what do we have to complain for?

o sleep. This happens a lot lately. At around 6, Sam woke up and we spent a couple hours talking and laughing as the sun came up behind the shades in our bedroom. As we were laying there, enjoying each other’s company I said something along the lines of, “This is one of the last moments we get to be just us two. Our lives are going to change forever any minute now.”

I don’t think I’ve ever walked through a season of life where so much change was happening all at once. Not even when I was married, although there was a lot of change in that season as well. And I know, I have a decent amount of readers that don’t have kids and are probably tired of hearing me talk about being pregnant, but I can’t help it. It’s just where I am right now. Having your first child is a life-change like no other. Simultaneously, you’re growing a baby in an area that only you have occupied all your life. Every day, it seems like there are new changes, new aches, pains, growth, symptoms, and all the while, this child is reminding you that they are growing out of what once was next to nothing.

We’ve all been there. None of us can say that we’ve never done something outside of God’s will before. The reason being, it’s not a strong suit of humanity to let God have full control over our lives. So it might be easy to say that God has given us a promise, but it’s even harder to walk in it. Why? Because God’s timing is never our timing.

I know, I know. Today is Wednesday. I missed our standing Tuesday time together. You see, I always write Soul Deep on a Monday, this way you have something I’m freshly convicted of in your inbox Tuesday morning; but this Monday was my 27th birthday. You see, my husband and I like to do birthdays big. It’s a good excuse to surprise each other and spend special time together. So Monday morning, I woke up to a day-long itinerary of birthday activities, and between all that, writing a devotion slipped my mind. For those who don’t know, we’ll be moving from Long Island to North Carolina in just a few weeks time, so our schedule has been pretty jam packed between making time to see people before we leave, packing, and doing the due diligence on our new house down south.

When I think of Soul Deep, I think of it as something that God led me into, using me to share Jesus with and blessing me immensely. God peeled back the layers of me that told me I could not do it and used all the passion I had for writing lying underneath. The passion I have for sharing God's word with others through words and being there for other people is probably one of my biggest passions. There is not much I love more than writing about God. God speaks through me as I write, how could I not be in awe that He’s chosen me to be His mouthpiece?

When we enter into a relationship with God, we truly learn about ourselves. Being in union with our creator forces us to be self-aware and allows us to evolve into our true identity each and every day. In this process, we sometimes face a lot of hard truths about who we are and how we can act. We see the ugly that lies within us.