Following God into New Versions of Ourselves
“Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8, NIV)
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19, ESV)
Yesterday morning, I found myself awake at 4 in the morning unable to go back to sleep. This happens a lot lately. At around 6, Sam woke up and we spent a couple hours talking and laughing as the sun came up behind the shades in our bedroom. As we were laying there, enjoying each other’s company I said something along the lines of, “This is one of the last moments we get to be just us two. Our lives are going to change forever any minute now.”
It seemed one of those bitter sweet thoughts that are so familiar throughout our lives: partially exciting at the prospect of a new adventure, partially mournful over the releasing of one chapter that has been sweet and rewarding. And just like he always seems to do, my husband surprised me in the simplicity of his response and the ease of his ability to embrace life’s daunting transitions: “It’s good. It’s the way it’s meant to be.”
You see, I’m big on the philosophy that in life, we are many different versions of ourselves– constantly changing, learning, shedding, and becoming. Until this season of my life, the biggest example I can think of was when I was married, because quite literally I became something new altogether. Up until that point, I was Cortney Rose Cordero. And in one day I became Cortney Rose Wente. I knew who the former was in all her different versions, but who would the latter be? It was a transition so monumental, it required a name change.
And yes, at my core, there are many things that are the same, but there are also many things that aren’t. Cortney Wente is a wife in a way Cortney Cordero never was. There is a deeper maturity there, a deeper self-awareness. And the past two years have been awesome in discovering that side of myself.
And now? There is a transition that is even more uncharted. Now, I am standing on the edge of learning what it means to be ‘mother.’ It’s big– at times scary– and wonderful. It’s something I firmly believe all the versions of myself I got to be before have led up to and equipped me for.
And a beautifully, intimately deep truth is that more than anyone else, God has been there building, shaping, shedding, and recreating every version of myself I have ever been. He knows and is familiar with every nuance of every season I have ever walked through, even those things that I never processed within myself.
God is a God of the transitionary period. He loves them. He delights in pushing new things out of us, simultaneously enabling us to lean evermore into Him and drawing new revelations out of us that help us see more of Him. In the first key verse, Moses is speaking to Joshua, the man God selected to take over for Moses and bring the Israelites into the Promised Land. In that moment, one where Moses was transitioning out of leadership and Joshua was transitioning in, Moses’ best advice was to be courageous in this time of transition.
Why? Because God went before Joshua and would be with him every step of the way. He would never leave Joshua or forsake him. It’s the very same for us when we find ourselves in a season of change or stepping from one version of ourselves to another. We should not be afraid or discouraged. The new things God is doing are never for our detriment. They are to challenge us, keep us rooted in Him, and show us a new revelation of Himself.
And just like Sam said to me: it’s good. It’s the way it was always meant to be. We were not created to remain the same version of ourselves throughout our lives. We were meant to learn to let go of some things so God could grow us in new directions. And if we can let go of the temporal things of this life, we can cling even tighter to the unchanging God and whatever He needs us to be. That’s the way He designed this life to be, and for us to live it.
So for me, I transition to something I’ve never been before: a mother. For you, it may be something or someone different. Maybe you’re gaining something as you start a new adventure. Maybe you’re mourning as you learn to live without something or someone God has asked you to release. Whatever it is, let this devotion reassure you: God is not asking you to become someone or go somewhere that He hasn’t walked before you for and that He’s unwilling to walk with you through.
If He’s doing a new thing in your life, take courage and don’t be afraid. Embrace it. That’s the beauty of the lives we lead, God is always doing something new in them and we get to be many different versions of ourselves, one building on the next, until the day we get to see Jesus.
It’s good. It’s the way it was always meant to be.
