How to Stop a Complaining Habit
“They set out from Elim, and all the congregation of Israel came to the Wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they left the land of Egypt. The whole congregation of the Israelites [grew discontented and] murmured and rebelled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the Israelites said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and ate bread until we were full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this entire assembly with hunger.” (Exodus 16:1-3, AMP)
“Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, AMP)
As Christians, we know not to sin. That’s pretty obvious, and for the most part, maybe it’s easy to refrain from those big ones: murder, theft, adultery, gossip, etc.
But what about those sins that seem little and insignificant? What about a complaining attitude? Sure, complaining seems like a harmless thing to do. After all, isn’t it bad to keep our feelings bottled up? Isn’t it healthy to vent? How does a little complaining hurt?
To that I say, it’s not so much about venting. It’s about the habits that constant complaining naturally leads to. In all truth, if we truly lean on God and trust Him to keep us and provide for us, what do we have to complain for?
Last time, we looked at what happened when Israel met their first test in the wilderness outside of Egypt. When they grumbled about not having water, they completely forgot about how God had just split a sea in half to give them an escape route. And instead of remembering that and trusting that God wouldn’t lead them out of slavery just to neglect their physical needs days later, they turned around and complained about God to Moses. And even then, God made a way and gave them a source of water to be satisfied.
Their next test comes not long after that. The Bible says just about a month after the Israelites left Egypt, they started to see their food supplies running low. Scripture doesn’t even say they felt the first pangs of hunger. It doesn’t say anyone died of starvation or malnutrition. It doesn’t say that they had to kill livestock to provide meals for the people.
It simply says that the people of Israel were in the wilderness for about a month, and they started to wonder about where their food was going to come from.
What does that show? That the Israelites weren’t grumbling because they had an actual need. They weren’t murmuring because there was a real concern of starving in the desert. They were complaining because there was a possibility of a chance for hunger; in other words, they were complaining to complain.
We do that all the time. We complain when there’s not even a legitimate concern to worry over something. We grumble over things that shouldn’t matter. We forget all the ways God has cared for us, and sometimes, we pick and choose what we remember about those past things and why God led us out of them.
Think about it: a month out of slavery in Egypt and the Israelites are reminiscing on it as if it was something good! They’re saying to Moses, “Sure, we were in slavery, but at least our bellies were full!” They were letting go of the future promise that God was bringing them to; a land that was ordained for them to live freely and worship Him in. They were harping on their past experiences because it was what they knew and felt comfortable with. It was a tangible memory they clung to rather than trusting that God had something much better at the end of their journey in the wilderness.
The Israelites complained and questioned God and eventually, it became their identity. Think about how many times between Egypt and the Promised Land it’s documented that Israel lost faith, or complained, or grumbled, or turned to other idols. They whined so much that it became their first reaction to question God at even so much as the first sign of a trial.
Because if we allow our constant attitude to be in a posture of complaint or grumbling, eventually, it becomes our habit to be discontent. It becomes our nature to be unsatisfied. We become ungrateful in everything. Nothing is good enough and the endless blessings we could be enjoying every day that are given by God above fall on blind eyes and deaf ears.
The antidote? We see it in 1 Thessalonians: Rejoice, pray, delight in your faith, and continuously give thanks to God. No matter what. It is God’s will that we live a life free of our own grumbling and moaning. It’s His design that we would rejoice in Him, even when we face opposition. It’s His desire for us to lean on Him and delight in the fact that we serve a good God that loves and cares for us on not only our best days, but our worst ones too. It’s His heart for us that we would learn to turn to Him in prayer to cast our troubles on Him and yet still find reason to continuously thank Him for His faithfulness to us.
No one is exempt from complaining. We’ve all done it. But it’s important that we stay on guard against it. When we find ourselves in the middle of our gripes, we should allow that conviction to help us turn around and give thanks. We should be encouraged to stop mid-grumble and rejoice in the Lord for something, anything. We should go to Him in prayer, allowing Him to be our friend to carry that worry for us.
Don’t let complaints harden your heart. Don’t let your mind be tainted by that habit. Instead, be encouraged to make a new one. It’s something we can all make an effort to do better in, because no one is perfect in it. Ultimately, we need to have faith in God that He is leading us into something better, and learn not to cling to our old selves. There is nothing about that life that is worth going back to, no matter how uncomfortable the journey gets.
Guard your heart against trivial complaints, friends. Remember that God has split your own personal seas before, and He is faithful to do it again. Train your heart to trust God, even when doubt starts to prick at the corners of your mind. God is leading you into something new, so don’t pine for the Egypt He brought you out of.
