The Bible is clear about martyrs and the fact that many will suffer for the gospel. Hebrews 11 famously talks about believers that were tortured, stoned, mistreated, and viciously killed for spreading the word of God. We know that this kind of persecution for faith in God continues today, especially in countries that have no freedom to practice Christianity like China or the Middle East.

But a lot of the time, we don’t share stories of those martyrs and the truths they died for. And why? Because in the end, they are stories that could help to strengthen and fortify our own faith. The truth is, we’re deeply blessed. We live in a country where it’s still widely condoned to go to church and practice our faith, but what if that weren’t the case?

You are such a good God. You have walked beside me every day of my life, whether I deserved it or not. If I’m being honest, I never deserved your love, care, or grace. But you pursued me. You watched over me, protected me, and drew me to you. There were seasons in my life when I desired things that glorified me more than I desired you. I prioritized my friends, family, dreams, and pleasure, and still there are times where that creeps back in.

When you’re a kid, you want your parents to pray for you for a lot of things. When you go to sleep, they say your bedtime prayers. When you sit down to eat, they pray for your food. When you fall down and get hurt, they pray over the scrapes and bumps.And for a kid, it feels like the prayers are better because it’s your mom or dad praying. The funny thing is, over the years that Sam and I have been in ministry, the premise is still the same for churchgoers to ask their pastors to pray on their behalf. Some people just feel that their pastor’s prayers are more effective or better heard by God.

I think as Christians, we all have at least one person that we pray would come to know Jesus. A few years ago, when my dad and I were running a youth group, there was one kid that came week in and week out, but he was adamantly rebellious against anything to do with God. He only came because his parents made him and it was one of the only times he got out of the house. For years, I watched my dad and other men in the church try to reach and witness to this kid. There was a lot of prayer, energy, and attention that went into him, and one night the Holy Spirit finally intervened and he admitted to believing in God. He prayed a prayer, and that night there was a lot of rejoicing among the youth leaders. It felt like God finally gave an answer to something long prayed for.

I don’t know about you, but my prayer life could use a refresh. Between my family, being pregnant again, work, and everything in between, I can slack in that department. Of course, I pray with my daughter and here and there, but sometimes, my prayers can be weak. They can become the same phrases, needs, and topics. That’s common. I think if you polled a group of people and they were being really honest, most would say the same. So I know I’m not alone in saying that my prayers could most definitely be deeper. I don’t want the Lord to see me as someone who checks in briefly with the same, old, tired pleasantries and then moves on to the next thing.

For most, not being able to speak would be a severe punishment. Not being able to speak in the middle of a miracle would be even harder. And for Zechariah? He was about to experience the miracle of his lifetime. If you know about having a baby, you know that when it comes time to tell people you’re expecting, it’s some of the most exciting news to share with others. It’s news you’re bursting to give. And if you’ve experienced years and years of wanting a child, living through all the anticipation turned disappointment as time marched on well past the time where it was possible, then the news that a baby is finally on its way is incredible.

When I was growing up, Black Friday was a huge event. People would finish up their Thanksgiving meal and head out to camp in front of a store all night in the freezing cold to get in as soon as the doors opened early morning the next day. There would be news stories of people that were trampled and died trying to get the next best deal. Flash forward to this year, and you’d never even know that people would literally risk their lives to kick off their Christmas season. I don’t think I know one person that got up before dawn let alone ventured out to shop. Whether that has something to do with online shopping, the lack of sales, or money being tight, maybe we should take advantage of the fact that this Christmas isn’t starting off with the same consumerist kickoff it has in the past.

I am dissatisfied. I don’t want to be but I am. It’s so easy to fall into a habit of discontentment. As a young person, I was taught that there would be so much to accomplish in all the areas of my life. I was praised by others constantly for my potential, talents, and promise. Naturally, as you grow older and make decisions in your life, it feels like that endless potential you’re told about when you’re in school grows limits. And that's a hard feeling to grapple with. You think to yourself: I’m almost x years old! I thought I’d have accomplished this by now! I thought I’d have this much in my bank account! I thought I’d be in a much easier place! Where did all that potential go?

The first war Israel had to fight after becoming a free nation of people is seen in the latter half of Exodus 17. Their enemy, Amalek, and his army attacked the nation of Israel unprovoked and in a reprehensible way. Instead of attacking Israel’s camp head on, they attacked them from the back. In ancient times, the elders, leaders, and strongest among a group would be out in front, leading the way and providing the protection needed for their more vulnerable members located in the back. Taking up the rear were usually women, children, elderly, and the infirm. For Amalek to surprise attack Israel and target their defenseless citizens was not only below the belt but despicable and cowardly.

This week, I met a new friend for dinner. While praying to bless the food, I said something along the lines of, “Lord, give us the courage to walk in your will.” When I finished, she asked me what I meant by asking for the courage to walk with the Lord. And I sort of paused, because it’s something I have been asking God a lot lately in my personal prayers. Have you ever been praying to God for something, and in your own mind the path from A to B is obvious? Have you ever mistaken that easy, obvious path as God’s will? Or maybe God closed the door on that route and left you feeling confused. Why would God tease us with something that seemed like an answer to prayer, only for it to pass right over us?

Is Jesus precious to you? Don’t just knee-jerk answer that. Don’t just give it the answer you think makes you look good to other people. Really think. Do you value Jesus as precious every moment of every day? Do you treat him the way He deserves? Do you regard Him above all else in everything you do?

Dear God,

Thank you for being everything I’ve ever needed. Thank you for being my friend when I am lonely, my heavenly father when I need guidance and direction, the lover of my soul when I need to be held and seen, my shield when I need to be protected, and my defender in times of fear and uncertainty. You have never let me down or given me a reason to not trust you.

Hey Pops, Teach me to be satisfied every morning. I’ve grown too used to putting off satisfaction for another day when some lofty goal is reached. I’ll be satisfied when I’m skinnier. I’ll be satisfied when I have x amount of money in my savings. I’ll be satisfied when my house is clean. There are a million reasons to put off satisfaction and happiness. It never takes long to sink into a rhythm of dissatisfaction with life. Why? Because I’ve grown used to my spiritual and emotional joy being contingent on temporal, and quite frankly, fleeting things.

Ever been on a long road trip with a baby? I have now, and if you take a look at this past weekend, you might say I took several. We had to take a trip to Connecticut this weekend as a family– yes, including our six week old, Piper, and Archie, our dog. In order to try and make the journey easier, we planned to make several stops along the way that would let us stop and rest on our way to where we had to be and then traveling back home.

I haven’t mentioned this in a long time, but if you were keeping up on Soul Deep in February, you found out that I am currently pregnant. Right now, as I write this, I am 34 weeks along, so coming into the last home stretch. At this point, we’ve painted a nursery, set up the furniture, celebrated with a shower, and now Sam and I are nesting in full force. Every day, I tackle a small project getting ready for our daughter. One day, I wash, fold, and put away all her clothes, the next I set up her changing table, then sanitize and find a place for her bottles and pacifiers– every day is a new chore and I’m excited to do it. As I break down packaging, sort, sanitize, decorate, and find a place for everything, I pray. I ask God to grow her healthily inside me– body and mind. I ask Him to make my body ready for a safe delivery. I ask Him to give Sam and I the wisdom to raise her and the grace to teach her how deeply she is loved by God; to hold her close to His heart every day of her life.

Hey Pops, Thank you for always being steady, even when I am not. Even when the world is not. Even when my circumstances are not. You have always been over all, in all, and walking with me through everything. There was never a day where you weren’t there, holding me together. There was never a moment when you didn’t know the outcome. There was never a second where you were taken by surprise.