Tons of people are remembered in the Bible. Some for their bravery, some for their deep faith in God; some for their mistakes, and others for their quick wits. And although the men tend to catch biblical legacy for longer stretches of scripture, there are still countless tales of women that should be remembered for their tenacity to honor God above all else and further His kingdom, even if their stories are brief.

So let me give you the short version of what my life has been for the past 7 months: I’ve planned two weddings, and I still need to plan one more. The first wedding was the one that never happened; at a catering hall that essentially took our money and never provided a wedding due to COVID-19. Then there’s the wedding that did take place: a beautiful and intimate ceremony under a tree at the top of a hill that felt like another planet altogether, surrounded by family– followed by an awesome backyard reception that was more perfect than any catering hall could have attempted to create.

I wrote those words in the middle of winter, while sitting at my desk in small-town Potsdam, New York. Three months later, as I re-read my old, unedited words, I sat back and thought about how much my life had been flipped upside down. Later that night, I had received an email, saying that I would have three days to get rid of all of my belongings, and move out of my college dorm to live with my parents on Long Island again. I was crushed, especially after writing such strong, comforting words earlier that morning.

Boy, is this coronavirus teaching me a thing or two about my control issues. For those who don’t know, I’m supposed to get married in June. And by that, I mean, it’s still happening, but we’re getting to the point where some difficult decisions have to be made. Me, I was always the girl who dreamed about her wedding: the fairytale day that’s all about me and the love of my life taking the biggest step together. I grew up dreaming about every aspect of the day from the food and flowers to the music and the dress.

In this season of New Years we are all seeking and expecting some sort of change. As a society we are eager for results and satisfaction. We see a common trend of people pursuing the change they want right after the turn of the new year and putting all sorts of work in, but than more often than not, most give up or their desire fades out.