I was baptized somewhere in my early teens. If I had to guess, I was somewhere in between 12 and 14. If you ask my mom, she probably remembers for sure. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy brain, or that it happened so long ago, but there aren’t too many details I remember of that day. I remember I was baptized with two of my childhood church friends. I remember the water was warm. I remember that I didn’t want to say anything into the microphone to the congregation watching. When I emerged, my dad was on the other side of the baptismal with a towel and one of the biggest smiles on his face.

As Christians, we know not to sin. That’s pretty obvious, and for the most part, maybe it’s easy to refrain from those big ones: murder, theft, adultery, gossip, etc. But what about those sins that seem little and insignificant? What about a complaining attitude? Sure, complaining seems like a harmless thing to do. After all, isn’t it bad to keep our feelings bottled up? Isn’t it healthy to vent? How does a little complaining hurt? To that I say, it’s not so much about venting. It’s about the habits that constant complaining naturally leads to. In all truth, if we truly lean on God and trust Him to keep us and provide for us, what do we have to complain for?

vWhen babies are born, no one has to teach them to suck. It’s a natural instinct so deeply embedded in them that they can even do it from inside the womb. Towards the end of a pregnancy, babies are known to drink in amniotic fluid using that sucking mechanism. This way, when they’re born, they can go right to drinking milk from the mother. They don’t starve or have to wait days and days to figure out how to eat. They are born doing it. I knew all this in a clinical sense before I was a mother, but once my daughter was born, I marveled at God’s design. It is nothing short of a wonder that a child is born and instinctively knows that their mother, who they have only known from the inside and is all of a sudden an external presence to them, has milk to drink. And it’s even more of a wonder that that child’s little tummy is so small that only a few drops is enough to not only satisfy their hunger, but also to slowly grow that baby into a nourished child. Because at first, that’s all the mother makes– a few drops. It takes days before her milk fully comes in and months before it establishes.

Peter denied Jesus just before His death. If Jesus were anyone else and not the Son of God, I’m sure it would have been the end of a relationship, a revocation of his calling, and two hurt people. That’s what Peter deserved: to lose Jesus’ love, lose the purpose Jesus instilled in him, and to live with his failure. It’s what you and I deserve for sure. Because we’ve all done what Peter did. Maybe not under the same circumstances, but we’ve all fallen short. We’ve all messed up. We’ve all had moments of weak faith that caused us to be less confident in our belief.

Imagine: You’re a little kid and you’re tossing a baseball in the house– something you’ve been told many times not to do. The more you toss the ball, the more you get lost in your make-believe game. Suddenly, you’re not in the living room anymore. In your mind, you’re under the lights of a stadium, pitching in the World Series. You wind up for the pitch at the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and everyone’s eyes are on you. You throw and– Crash.

If you follow Jesus, you’ve been there. There comes a moment in time where every believer gives their life to Christ. Not only asking for Him to forgive their sins, but also to be Lord over them. To some, those two things may seem interconnected, but sometimes they’re not. Some people casually approach Christ, asking to be found without sin and wanting to be saved, but that doesn’t mean they submit their lives and become meek before Him.

o sleep. This happens a lot lately. At around 6, Sam woke up and we spent a couple hours talking and laughing as the sun came up behind the shades in our bedroom. As we were laying there, enjoying each other’s company I said something along the lines of, “This is one of the last moments we get to be just us two. Our lives are going to change forever any minute now.”

The Fruits of the Spirit remind me of Sunday school lessons. No matter where you go to church, odds are, if you were a kid there was some kind of poster or coloring sheet that had pictures of apples, oranges, bananas, grapes, etc. and they all were labeled with a different fruit of the Spirit. There are songs that we learn in order to memorize them, and maybe you were given a piece of candy or a prize if you could list them all off the top of your head. As we get older, the term “Fruits of the Spirit” feels like a Christianese phrase that is glossed over and never really thought about beyond that Sunday school lesson from decades ago. It’s kind of on the same level as the armor of God, or the Ten Commandments: really, it’s a foundational idea to the Christian walk, but it’s reviewed so often that we forget the precious values these things hold for us to spiritually mature past the Bible basics.

“I had no idea you were so crazy about the Olympics.” That’s what my husband said when I rolled out of bed first thing on Friday and asked him to please set up the live feed so I could watch the opening ceremony at the Tokyo Olympics. And yes, to an extent, he wouldn’t know this about me. The last real Olympic games we had was 2016, which was two years before we’d start dating. And since he’s met me, I hate watching sports games. But for some reason, when the Olympics are on, I’m glued to dozens of events, rooting for the USA and marvelling at my favorite athletes.

So because my husband and I now own a house and don’t live in a basement apartment anymore, I’ve recently become a plant mom. Up until now, my understanding of plants has been minimal; you plant it, water it, give it the right amount of sun or indirect sun, and let it do its thing. Seems like a simple equation, except it’s not. Because obviously, a plant can’t tell you what’s wrong, you have to troubleshoot it and wait for a positive result.

I know, I know. Today is Wednesday. I missed our standing Tuesday time together. You see, I always write Soul Deep on a Monday, this way you have something I’m freshly convicted of in your inbox Tuesday morning; but this Monday was my 27th birthday. You see, my husband and I like to do birthdays big. It’s a good excuse to surprise each other and spend special time together. So Monday morning, I woke up to a day-long itinerary of birthday activities, and between all that, writing a devotion slipped my mind. For those who don’t know, we’ll be moving from Long Island to North Carolina in just a few weeks time, so our schedule has been pretty jam packed between making time to see people before we leave, packing, and doing the due diligence on our new house down south.

I think this passage in the Bible is one of the most well-known ones. Even if you’ve never gone to Sunday school, never picked up a Bible, and never had a faith of your own, chances are, you’ve heard fragments of this verse someway, somehow. Whether it’s a scripture reading at a wedding ceremony you attended or printed on some trendy home decoration at Marshall’s, 1 Corinthians 13 tends to be one of those Bible verses that crossed over into secular culture at one point or another.

Do you ever forget who you are? Before you know it minutes turn into hours, hours into days, and days into weeks, causing you to lose sight of your identity, and purpose, through Jesus Christ. That is a place that many of us have passed through before. You may also be someone who feels that you've never known who you are. You have just been wondering since you have been able to wonder. Maybe you have never found the “right” answer or the answer that gave you the most purpose. I feel that I can confidently say that most likely almost everyone has been in that place of wondering, and if you are a follower of the Lord than you have most likely forgotten even if it has been minutes rather than weeks.

How often do we limit our capacity to worship Jesus? Let me be more specific: how often do we categorize worship neatly into a box for Sunday morning church service or a special playlist on our phones? In all reality, worship goes much farther than ambient music or beautiful lyrics. Worship is a lifestyle. It is something that should be fully integrated into Christian life.