It seriously boggles my mind how quickly Israel could forget God’s goodness, mercy, and provision towards them. The Jews left Egypt and began their journey in the wilderness in Exodus 15, and here we are in chapter 17 and already we’ve seen 3 different iterations of them having a need, shaking their fists and Moses and God about it, not trusting in God to fill it, and God supernaturally proving Himself by fulfilling their need with a miracle. And what’s worse is that those are just a couple of chapters at the beginning of a 40 year-long journey! We know that there are still many, many more times that Israel repeated that same pattern.

But we are the same way. And just think: If Israel found it hard to rely on God and constantly fell into habits of questioning Him despite the miracles and wonders they witnessed, how much more so is it for us?

I was an only child until my brother came along. My memories of the days before he came along are limited, but I remember we lived on a busy street, so it made forming friendships with other kids on our block difficult because we couldn’t just go out and play. I remember asking my mom if she was going to have another baby so I could have a little sibling. A friend.

If you’ve been reading and following Soul Deep Devotions since the beginning, then you know my testimony: I’m the girl that’s always known Jesus. I never had this grand, tragic falling away story. Even in my college years, when I was in a sorority and wasn’t actively pursuing the Lord, I wasn’t that far away. My friends still saw me as a goodie-two-shoes. I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t go home with anyone for the night, and I always left the party before things got too crazy.

Trusting in the Lord is something I’m not quite sure we’re ever done learning, and the odds are, you don’t quite realize just how much you don’t trust in the Lord until someone points out how blatantly independent you are from the Lord. But this weekend, I was listening to someone else’s testimony about how the Lord used a season of poverty to teach him dependence on the Lord, and he said something that hit me right between the eyes.

This is how I want to start this year: my heart for us all! As everyone starts posting their visions, power words, and resolutions for the new year, let me take this moment to encourage you– and encourage myself in the process. I’m one of those people who loves and hates to set goals. Big-picture stuff overwhelms me. So when I set a goal for myself, my perfectionist attitude steps in and starts to discourage me. The funny thing is, I’ve started to notice that I’m not alone. There are so many people I find around me that are unafraid to dream dreams.

Have you ever been so overcome with fear that you felt paralyzed? Has your fear ever made you feel completely incompetent and of no value? Has the power of fear ever whispered multiple lies into your heart, which you begin to believe as truth? One little fear in our hearts can ripple into an insecurity, then into an overwhelming thought, and then soon a lie that begins to hold truth over our lives leaving us feeling unworthy– even more than that– not ourselves.

Maybe it’s a little cliché, but I think this passage of the Christmas story is my favorite. Whenever I read it, I can’t help but feel such wonder for the moment. Mary, a young Nazarene girl goes from unseen and simple to the living proof of God’s amazing power and love.

Have you ever received a word you knew was straight from God? And I’m not talking about kinda, sorta, maybe. I’m talking about a promise so without a doubt that it had to have come straight from the mouth of Jesus. I received a word like that earlier this year. I came from a very close friend who was praying over me during a worship night. As she prayed, she became thoughtfully silent, and then looked at me and said, “I don’t know why Jesus wants me to say this. I don’t really know where it’s coming from either, but He wants you to know that your heart will never be broken again.”