Ten Commandments, P9: The Damage of a Lie

“You shall not testify falsely [that is, lie, withhold, or manipulate the truth] against your neighbor (any person).” (Exodus 20:16, AMP) 

This ninth commandment sounds like something from the Bill of Rights or a rule in a court of law. In reality, it could apply to a legal testimony in a court of law, but in its most simple terms, this commandment warns us against lying or manipulating the truth. 

This commandment encompasses many different applications of falsifying truth. To put it mildly, it forbids those little, white lies that we convince ourselves are admissible and necessary. On the other extreme, it warns us against spreading or perpetuating rumors, exaggerating the truth, repeating stories without verifying information as truth, and keeping silent when we hear untrue stories to save face with others.

At its core, this commandment from God protects us from slandering others, and protects others from the heartbreaking fallout from having their character falsely attacked. And truthfully, being under attack from a slanderous rumor can be devastating to relationships, reputations, and unity within the Church. I know that from experience.

Years ago, a friend I trusted took several things I had said to another friend and manipulated them to seem like I was bad-mouthing another church and community. She proceeded to spread rumors that ended up damaging my relationship with not only her but other people within the social circles we were a part of. The outcome was highly destructive and damaged my character, and it deeply hurt me at the time and took me a long time to heal from.

I don’t say this to dig up old wounds– drama that is long over and done with. I do say it to say that the lies and half-truths we tell aren’t harmless. They have real and serious ramifications. Unconfirmed gossip we perpetuate doesn’t make us harbingers of truth, it makes us part of the problem.

Yes, as Christians, we are supposed to be lovers and seekers of Truth, but that doesn’t mean that we should revel in being the first person to know something or people that delight in “revealing” something we’ve heard. “If anyone thinks himself to be religious [scrupulously observant of the rituals of his faith], and does not control his tongue but deludes his ownheart, this person’s religion is worthless (futile, barren).”(James 1:26, AMP)

Our speech, our testimony, and our truth should be for the building up of others and for the strengthening of our faith. There is no world where gossip and manipulating the truth either builds up or strengthens yourself or others.

And I get it: there are times in my life where I loved being the first to report a juicy piece of information to a friend, but ultimately, if we are made new in Christ and we are putting away the old self to put on the new– then we should find more delight in staying out of it than being in the middle. And that includes allowing something we know to be slander to continue. If we hear gossip– be it petty or damaging– we should be vigilant to put a stop to it. Our withholding of the truth or our silence in the midst of rumors in order to be better liked by other people or to maintain our own standing among a group of people is allowing false testimony to continue, which is equally as terrible.

Ultimately, though Christians should seek and desire the Truth, it doesn’t mean that we should stir the pot or share suspicions that spin out of control. Our desire for Truth should align with our desire to be like Christ. Our thirst for Truth should be within God’s Word and making Him known to others, building up the Church to seek that same Truth.

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13, NIV)

Truth and good testimony doesn’t mean we can betray trust with someone else. Speaking our minds is not the same as upholding truth. Somewhere along the way, it seems Christians have equated uncontrolled candor and transparency with God’s desire for us to tell the truth. But there are some instances where controlling our tongues is the more righteous response. If someone comes to you in confidence, it is not your responsibility to air that out to people that love a new tidbit to discuss. 

Betraying a confidence is just as damaging as the rumor that is born from it. 

A mature Christian is marked by the ability to know when to control your tongue and when to confront false information. In the end, Jesus Himself knew what it was like to be falsely testified against. He knew the difficulties of slander and bearing the brunt of an attack on His character. That’s ultimately what led Him to the cross.

If we are going to be more like Him, we need to make sure that we gain control over our words and our tongues. We need to have a strong barometer on when to speak out against false rumors and when to stay silent over information that isn’t ours to share. Exercising self-control over what we say is something that Christ was well-versed in, so if that is something you struggle with today, you should take a moment to pray that He would address that in your heart. Pray He would convict you in those moments where you need to show restraint and where you need to speak in truth. Ultimately, this commandment protects both you and those around you from being aggrieved by the deep wounds of a lie.