You are NOT the Groom!

“John replied, “A man can receive nothing [he can claim nothing at all] unless it has been granted to him from heaven [for there is no other source than the sovereign will of God]. You yourselves are my witnesses that I stated, ‘I am not the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed),’ but, ‘I have [only] been sent ahead of Him [as His appointed forerunner and messenger to announce and proclaim His coming].’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands by and listens to him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this pleasure and joy of mine is now complete. He must increase [in prominence], but I must decrease.” (John 3: 27-30, AMP)

Back in the late 2000s, when I was in youth group, our youth band had a little chorus that we often sang: “May we decrease so that you may increase.” 

Even now, I find myself singing those words to myself often when I am cooking, cleaning, working, or at rest– just going about my business. The melody is just one of those things that bubbles up often in my heart in worship to the Lord. It’s simple and short, but it’s a much needed reminder to my heart in allowing Jesus to be in control, to be at the front and center in my life, and that my desires, dreams, and will must not only conform to be pleasing unto the Lord, but they also must step out of the way if they are not in line with God’s desires, dreams, and will.

Those words come from John 3, where John the Baptist’s disciples come to him indignant that Jesus and His disciples were also baptizing people nearby and they were drawing more crowds than they were. John’s response is multifaceted. 

First, He points out that no one can claim a gift, talent, or ministry for something that God Himself did not first give to us. John’s point is that crowds only came to him and flocked to hear his message because God first bestowed not only the calling to baptize and prepare the way for Jesus, but the natural born ability to preach and lead people to repentance. John’s ministry wasn’t popular because John was personable, charismatic, or especially persuasive. John’s ministry was popular because God ordained ministry work for John and drew people to Himself through that work. 

God willed John to be popular at one time, and now His ministry was giving way to the primary purpose that God called Him to do, which was to prepare people to receive and sit under Jesus and His ministry. John was now starting to see the fruits of all that labor He was called by God to do. He prepared the way, readied the hearts of the people to welcome Jesus, and now they were following Him as they should. It didn’t mean John’s work was done– John continued in this way until he was arrested and later beheaded– it just meant he was transitioning into a new season of it, where Jesus was the long-awaited Teacher and Messiah, and John was His servant.

John reminds his followers again of this: that he was only meant to be the forerunner that preceded Jesus. His job was to proclaim the message that Jesus was the Messiah the world had waited for. He wasn’t the main attraction or the Anointed One. And now that Jesus was there and the time had come for Him to start His ministry on earth, John knew it was time for him to yield to that and rejoice in the fact that Jesus was there and working alongside them.

John even makes the analogy that Jesus is the groom at a wedding, and John was merely the best man. The world, the church, and the nation of Israel hadn’t waited all this time for John, they were looking for Jesus Christ. The groom had finally come to claim His bride and so for him to get in the way of that ministry would have gone against everything John was born to do. And why would he do that? Because he was losing popularity or notoriety? Because his “clientele” decided to go to the actual Lord and Savior? 

The funny thing is that our flesh is so petty. It loves to be recognized and praised. It loves to be needed and important. And sometimes, because we can be so petty, we miss what God is doing. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to go unchecked and miss how God is moving. Why? For pride? For security? 

Truth is, nothing we can build for ourselves can outdo what God can and will do. Have you ever been in a wedding and heard someone say, “You’re not the bride!” It usually happens when someone steps out of line and puts their needs before the needs of the couple that has been planning this day and pining for each other. 

Well, we need a lot of reminders that we’re not the groom! Every day. All the time. We need to be reminded that we are actually the bride and Jesus is our beloved that has committed Himself to us with His blood. And as the bride, we must yield. We must come under Jesus’ headship and trust Him to lead us. We must commit ourselves to Him and love Him. We must put away our pride and petty desires to be self-important. 

We must decrease so that He can increase.

He must increase in us, transforming our hearts, souls, minds, and spirits to be more like Him. We have to lay aside desires and ideas within us that don’t honor Him and that puff ourselves up. We have to bow to His will, His way. 

And I think, along the way, we might find that the more we decrease, the more we begin to see how His desires are so much better. His will is higher. His love is deeper than we could have ever dreamed.

But it will take much prayer. It will require us to ask Him to teach us; to offer us strength of faith and grace in order to follow His lead. We will need the Holy Spirit to inspire us and give us the ability to decrease so that God can increase Himself in our hearts. 

When He increases, His love pours out of us. His wisdom takes residence in our minds. We are able to minister and share Christ with others better, and in turn, others will be able to see Christ in us more clearly. We are able to use those God-given gifts to give Him glory and show others how good He is. 

May we decrease so that He may increase. 

Dear Lord,
You are such a wonderful God. You are such a loving Father. You care for us better than we can even ask or understand. I ask that you would give us all the strength to fix our eyes on you today. That you would give us the desire to crush those things in ourselves that don’t honor you and that you would help us to yield to your will and your dreams for us. Search us out, Lord. Thank you for the gifts and talents you’ve given us and I ask that you would help us to use those gifts to build your kingdom and show people your love. Help us to decrease our petty pride, our imperfect flesh, and our selfishness. Help us to decrease our flesh so that you can increase your grace in us. Increase your will in us. May we decrease so that You can increase in us, dear Jesus, and so that we can be better instruments in how you’re working.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!

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