What it Means to Be Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being formed in secret, and intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were appointed for me, when as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape].” (Psalm 139: 13-16, AMP)

I’ve always seen this verse from one side: the perspective David writes from. It’s a perspective we all understand, as it’s a basic experience we’ve all had to live through if we’ve been born and grown up. No matter who you are or where you are in your Christian walk, the sentiment is easy to understand. God formed you in your mother’s womb. When no one else knew you, not even your parents, God knew you. There is nothing about you that could be hidden from the Lord. 

All through the standard nine months your mother was pregnant with you, she wondered: what color would her baby’s eyes be? Their hair? Would it be a boy or a girl? What would your personality be? What would you grow up to do?

And while she wondered, God already knew. He was already laying out the groundwork and weaving you together, body, soul, and every day you would live. Despite how you may feel about yourself, He was excited to get to make you, form you, and create you. He was intricate– down to every last birth mark and fingerprint. He was skilled– did you know that your heart, brain, nervous system, and spinal cord are some of the first things to develop on an embryo? There’s no way simple biology could be that detailed so quickly and meticulously without God the Creator at the helm of all creation.

He created you the way an artist makes a work of art or a writer pens the Great American novel. He wove you together like a brilliant embroidery, and all in the intimate seclusion of your mother’s womb. Before anyone laid eyes on you, God saw you. He took two cells and made a body. He took an unformed being and gave it substance. He wrote down and planned every day of your life before you even took shape.

The sheer wonder and beauty that God on high, ruler of the universe, who breathed stars into being, cherished every moment of the nine months it took to make you before you were born. Can you imagine the labor of love that is? The careful consideration He took in which to get you exactly where you are?

And I’ve always read those verses from that perspective; in complete awe that there is a God out there who could love, value, and think of me that much. 

And now, I read it from another perspective, which leads me to an announcement I have been dying to share with you all since mid-December.

Sam and I will be bringing our first child into the world come August of this year!

Anyone who does life closely with us knows that this process has been long and nerve-wracking. We’d been trying to conceive for the better part of 2021. I went to multiple doctors regarding fertility and whether we were going to be able to have babies of our own. Every month, we’d hope. And every month, we’d be disappointed that it wasn’t happening for us yet. All the while, we were praying that God would help us grow our family naturally and safely.

And then, a week before Christmas, I allowed myself to hope, took a test, and it came back positive within 20 seconds. I was five weeks pregnant. So, what that means, is that for weeks, I was worrying and praying and nervous that God wasn’t going to answer our prayers. And all the while, unbeknownst to me, God was working inside of me. He was knitting, growing, nurturing, and creating a child inside of me that I had no idea was there. He already answered my prayer, He just hadn’t brought me in on the plan yet.

Now, I read these verses as the mother, knowing that God is using me as the secret place to form His child, spending intimate time intricately and skillfully creating within me. Knowing this baby as only God can know them, and loving them more than my heart of flesh could ever have the capacity for.

That blesses me, and testifies to me again just how strong and powerful, yet gentle and wonderful our God is. Even in my worry, He is working. Even in my moments of doubt, He is still coming through, and not even my shortcomings could eclipse His plan from unfolding exactly as He set it out to be.

Because yes, even when I was being formed and my days were being planned out in my own mother’s womb, God knew that by the end of 2021, I would be a part of the cycle again, pushing His ultimate plans of salvation ever forward as the days draw closer to His victorious return. 

Today, what I want you to focus on, is that no matter where you are, and no matter what you’ve done, God spent that special time in a secret place drawing you into being and planning all the days of your life. He already knows you. Nothing about you could be hidden from Him. He sees it all, and still wants you, loves you, and patiently waits for you to draw near to him again, finding Him in a new secret place that only you two know. The only way to know Him is to draw near to the one who took that much care in creating you. Seek Him, friend. The more you seek, the more you will find, and the more you find, the more you will fall in love.